To be left alone on the tightrope of youthful unknowing is to experience
the excruciating beauty of full freedom and the threat of eternal
indecision. Few, if any, survive their teens. Most surrender to the
vague but murderous pressure of adult conformity. It becomes easier to
die and avoid conflicts than to maintain a constant battle with the
superior forces of maturity...The command to grow up at once was more
bearable than the faceless horror of wavering purpose, which was youth.
The bright hours when the young rebelled against the descending sun had
to give way to twenty-four-hour periods called "days" that were named as
well as numbered.
               -I Know Why The Caged Bird Sings

................just finished this book...thought you'd understand this passage